The Terrible Tantrum
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What has happened to your adorable little angel? One minute she’s smiling and giggling then you turn her world upside down – you offer her a red sippie cup instead of a blue one. Now she’s on the floor kicking and screaming putting on the best dramatic show you’ve seen yet. Why does this happen?
Your child is growing and developing. She is learning how the world reacts to things that go on around her and is experimenting with different techniques. Most likely she saw someone else try something (like crying) and she wants to see if it will work for her. Kids are smart. So now how do you handle all of this? If you give her whatever she wants as soon as the tears (or fake-tears) appear, she’ll learn that if she cries, she'll get what she wants. If you don't want her to continuously act this way, then you'll want to teach your child that crying and throwing fits are useless and don't achieve anything.
First rule of thumb: don’t scream back at your child. Anger is infectious and by joining in on her tantrum you will be prolonging the outburst and she may be provoked by it. Although it may be a tempting quick fix, do not reward or punish your child after her tantrums. The key is to teach her that her tantrums are ineffective – that is, it changes nothing whether for better or worse. If you promised your child a trip to the park before her tantrum, do not retract it afterwards. Alternatively, if you’re child threw a tantrum because she wanted a new toy, do not reward her with the toy to calm her down.
Many parents’ biggest fear is a tantrum in a public place. Don’t let your toddler sense your concern. If you avoid taking her to the corner store because she cries for candy or if you shower her with praise when she’s behaved well in the mall, she will figure out what is going on. Again, it is important that your child understand her tantrums have no effect on you whatsoever. If you child throws a tantrum in public don’t lose your cool. Calmly carry your child to a quiet place such as a bathroom or the car so she can blow off steam. To avoid public tantrums, do your errands and shopping in the morning. In the afternoon, your toddler is more likely to be tired and hungry.